Did anybody -- scratch that, anybody remotely intelligent, who knows me even a weency, tiny little bit -- think I was serious in the post below when I said that given a hypothetical choice between a huge sum of money and the ability to punch Trix's exes in the gut I'd pick the latter? Anybody? Honestly? Serious as in "gee, I'd really like for that to happen and I'm taking steps to get that together?"
Just to clarify, for the sane and the insane: it's called blowing off steam. I was living through a week when they (as a unit -- do you guys call each other and discuss how best to get our goat?) were causing one or the other of us consternation and turmoil on an almost daily basis. For one thing, I've never enacted violence upon another human being, ever. Seriously: the one time I got into a fight in elementary school, I let the guy kick my ass while I laughed at him. Didn't even swing a single punch. It hurt, but man, it sure was funny. I think I developed a reputation for being either fearless or crazy, and nobody ever touched me again. For another, I tend to write hyperbolically. Dunno if you've noticed that, but I tend to exaggerate for comic effect on a fairly regular basis. I could weed through for examples, but meh -- why bother. If you've half a brain in your head, you've noticed them. Example: If I say, for example, that I'd like to kick Bob Seger's ass nine ways to Sunday for writing "Like A Rock" (which is something I've thought about, certainly, he's been asking for it since about 1972), just for future reference:
I'M PRETTY FUCKING OBVIOUSLY NOT SERIOUS.
Plus, the logistics involved in getting all of her exes together in one place AND rendering them somehow immobile while I punched each of them in a line without the others kind of banding together and defending themselves like a kind of crazy Trix-crazed phalanx would be insurmountable.
Obviously.
Big, giant, bolded-for-obviousness DUH on this one.
6 comments:
can i just say "what if you really would like to have them lined up, rendered immobile and socked them each in gut?" even if its in a Scrubs-esque fantasy way? sounds like a perfectly healthy desire to express. no need to apologize or explain. shit, i fantasize about socking both a few loved ones and un-loved ones in the gut on a bi-weekly basis. its okay to be surly, dammitt. dont let the minnesota nice in you apologize for any of it. fuk em. your west coast now baby. ex's better recognize!(i'm kinda stuck in the "recognize" thing. its so dated. i know. it wont happen again) - kells
HAH! A follow-up rant addressing misconceived notions about a previous rant. LOVE IT!
And yeah! It was a totally $%&#$ week of 'The Ex's'. Guess what kids...I have a few!
Stand strong and tall jonny. You are proof positive that the pen is mightier than the sword.
xo
Trix
Just the idea of them lined up, rendered immobile and then them banding together to try to defend themselves against you - makes me laugh out loud. How many ex's are we talking here? I know of two and neither one of them would stand a chance. Trix can lasso them and tie them down and you can give them each a swift punch in the gut! It would be more like you to draw this all out in a comic strip, however. Frank says if you need any back up, give him a call!
I've always fantasized about being brutalized by Venus and Serena Williams.
Tell them to SUCK IT. :P
I'd be afraid they'd take it LITERALLY, Molly!
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