Thursday, April 17, 2008

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

I'm sorry about the dearth of blog entries this week, folks. I'm hunkered down working on a couple of movie posters for a flick featuring STEVE ZAHN.

God damned STEVE ZAHN.

See, I went to high school with Steve Zahn. He was two years ahead of me and he was everything I wasn't. He was *staggeringly popular*. He was an exceptional sportsman. He was homecoming king, and not even ironically. The girls loved him, even though he acted in plays and sang in the choir. He oozed charisma. Meanwhile, MY senior year was filled with jocks calling me "drama fag" and girls doing their damndest NOT to sleep with me.

And ever since then, even though I'm sure he's a wonderful, lovely guy and I've actually had to reluctantly and begrudgingly concede that he's done some fun acting turns, I've decided I hate his guts.

Just so I can do this:



ZAHHHHHN!

To get back at him, I'm gonna photoshop him FAT.

20 comments:

Assley! said...

Hahaha. I can't stop laughing!
Steve Zahn is fugly.

That Capt. Kirk picture made my day. hahahahah.

Max Sparber said...

Girls tried not to sleep with me to. Tried and failed. They just couldn't resist my devil-may-care smile.

Jon Hunt said...

"They tried and failed?"

"They tried and DIED."

Geek points if you can name the source of this quote!

Mimi said...

Photoshop his face onto nirpal's body. revenge!

Ashley! said...

Oh brother, did you just drop a line from Dune?

Keep the geek points, I'm cool. hahah.

Jon Hunt said...

Hey, Dune's David Lynch! He's automatically cool! You can say "Oh, it's his worst film, but I've seen everything he's done" or something to cover it.

LAP said...

This whole thread has me laughing really hard. I've always liked Steve Zahn because he's such a doofus in movies and he was the fucking HOMECOMING KING, of course. I wish I'd known you in high school Jonny- because you could have been in Regina's plays since we were always scraping for boys. We could've been in The King and I together- and I made all the guys who worked at Garage d'Or come and see me in it too.

Ashley! said...

Of course man, David Lynch owns.I wouldn't say it's his "worst" movie. I love him regardless of what he may do. I own his coffee. The first time I saw "The Alphabet" it changed my life. Now I just watch Wild at Heart on repeat now. "Can I piss in your head?" That line is classic!

kelly said...

can i just say i'm eagerly awaiting the aforementioned food blog that was promised us? FOOD BLOG! FOOD BLOG! (thats me and an imaginary chorus of foodies chanting). and i thought steve zahn was from morris, mn? no? maybe thats where he went to college. stupid steve zahn...(actually i have nothing against the guy personally, i'll just join in the hatin cause i like you)

Jon Hunt said...

That's so awesome, how uncomfortable were they??

I was in: "Oliver" (with T.R. Knight!!), "Oklahoma," "Once Upon A Mattress," "Brigadoon," and most recently "Bye Bye Birdie" as the oldest, paunchiest Birdie ever.

Jon Hunt said...

That last message was for Laura.

Ash:

"I wouldn't say it's his "worst" movie. I love him regardless of what he may do. I own his coffee."

Oh, I don't think so either -- in fact, I love Dune with most of my heart. I've seen it close to 30 times. Seriously. I'm not sure WHAT his worst movie is -- they're all good. Never seen Inland Empire yet, I'm embarassed to say. And I own his coffee too -- house blend AND Decaf!

And Kells, IT'S COMING. I have to gather my foodblog thoughts. And yeah, he started out in Morris, I think, and moved to New Hope? I think?

Ashley! said...

I must confess that I haven't seen Inland Empire either and I've failed to keep up with most of his online shorts.

Someday, I'll catch up with him.

LAP said...

Hee, they were probably uncomfortable- but they brought me flowers, which was awesome since Jim Peterson was like the unrequited love of my life. (STOP.LAUGHING)The coolest musical I was in was You're A Good Man, Charlie Brown. I always wanted to be in Bye, Bye Birdie as Rosie. It's funny that you were Conrad, because rock and roll persona aside- you're kind of a Hugo, no?

Jon Hunt said...

I'm way, way more of an Albert Peterson, actually -- neurotic as hell, jumpy, and trying like damn not to piss anybody off!!

Coco said...

This may be your best blog entry to date. Any blog with even the slightest reference to Ricardo Montalban has to be a good one.

Isn't good to know that you can go up to Steve Zahn now, with his money and his movies, and at the very least show him your smokin' hot girlie and say "suck it, zahn!"? Not very mature, but it sounds good . . .

Jon Hunt said...

Coco, I look forward to doing that to ANY famous people I meet! "Look at my HOT GIRLFRIEND -- suck it, (fill in the blank)"!!!

Febrifuge said...

Dude, We did "Bye Bye Birdie" when I was a high school senior. I was the dad, Mr. MacAfee. It was fairly awesome.

Prince Gomolvilas said...

Photoshop in man boobs.

plastic passion said...

Every time I see anything with Steve Zahn in it, I immediately flash to a mental image of you seething!

belsum said...

You have no idea how much fun Chris and I continually have on the whole Steve-Zahn-is-Jon's-nemesis tip.