Thursday, January 3, 2008

Why Should I Like It, vol. 1

(ed. note: Yes, my Christmas was WONDER-FUCKING-FUL, as was my New Years. More on that later. Promise.)

Um, okay, today begins a new feature of Hatesexy, in which I talk about an album I just do not like no matter how hard I try, and you all, with your far superior and more intellectual taste (I mean, heck, you read me, right?), try to explain to me why I should like it.

First album we'll discuss: Animal Collective's Strawberry Jam.

I just. Do. Not. Get. It. I've tried -- I've listened to the thing like 20 times. I've tried listening to it as a freak-folk album, as a techno album, as a lo-fi album, and all the spaces in between. I've tried to dig into the songwriting, to the singing, to the production. I've read all the glowing reviews calling it a psychedelic cracked masterpiece and gone back and relistened with fresh ears.

To me, it sounds like two total fucking nerds who got a freaking casio and slopped the damn thing together with that paste the retarded kid from your class used to eat. And while that sounds like it might be charming, I don't hear a single charm. It sounds graceless. It sounds clunky. The rhythms jar, and not in a good way. It's all too loud and ugly, and also not in a good way. The synths sound like they were used by people who have only had synths DESCRIBED to them, poorly, by someone in a different language. And the voices GRATE. Oh, how they grate.

To quote Butthead:

"They should, like, try harder. Uh huh. Huh. Uh huh huh."

(Points, btw, for using a totally out-of-date pop culture reference that hasn't been relevant in about ten years, if that. Take THAT, Diablo Cody.)

So, folks: What am I missing?


Ziggy said...

Jon, you're not *missing* anthing -- Animal Collective sucks. The only thing they've got going for themselves is that they've got a unique sound, but if you don't dig said unique sound...

Brash Lion said...

Well, I have to admit, I really loved Animal Collective's "Sung Tongs" from a few years back, but then I got the Indian one (forget the exact name) and couldn't get into it. Haven't been back since.

Molly P said...

Jon, Animal Collective is awesome...NOT! My brother could eek that out playing Frogger.

sazired said...

If I was in a completely altered state or had suffered a traumatic head injury resulting in brain damage, Animal Collective might - emphasis on might - hold some marginal value.

However, I gave up drugs for Lent and am happy to say my brain damage is limited.

In conclusion, Animal Collective sucks wombat ass. Good call.

belsum said...

I was always a fan of your Butthead imitation. You and Chris doing both of them on our answering machine back in 90-something is still a highlight I wish had been saved.

Aeijtzsche said...

Yep: totally not missing anything.

Anonymous said...

B-but, Panda Bear is amazing!