Monday, March 3, 2008

Travel Bolg #2

Dateline: Amarillo, Texas.

We are staying HERE.

Why, you ask? Well, c'mon -- we're traveling up the legendary Route 66 (see: either Manhattan Transfer, the Rolling Stones or, in a pinch, Depeche Mode) because, frankly, if you're going from any random destination up north down to LA, you gotta take the highway that's the best, y'know? And if you're DOING Route 66, you can't -- CAN'T -- just stay in Clean Friendly Motor Lodge and/or Smarmy Hotel. You have to find the cheesiest, stupidest tourist trap motels imaginable. And, frankly, having been to numerous Indian/Cowboy/whatever themed motor lodges in my life, the Big Texan is one of the stupidest.

- Our room is "charming" and by "charming" I mean really kinda shitty but with Western crap all over it.

- The restaurant (pictured) is awesome. The steaks are enormous, the drinks are great, the waitresses are cute and say "y'all" a lot, a strolling country band of 80-year-old men play love songs at the table for you, and we watched an Italian man try to consume A FOUR AND A HALF POUND STEAK. The size of a human head. And I mean a BIG human head, not, like, Verne Troyer's head, okay?

- There is a dog area for your dog to play, but they spell it "Dawg."

- There is BOTH a giant boot AND a giant cowboy present on premises.

To sum up, we turn to Trixi: "This room is cute, but it kinda smells like old poo." We're smoking it up, though, to conceal it (YOU CAN SMOKE YOU CAN SMOKE YOU CAN SMOKE).

Tomorrow: New Mexico and Arizona, home of dessicated, run down tourist traps and some of the gorgeous scenery I've ever peeped in m'life.

(Car fans: It's a yellow Cooper Mini!)


vfleblanc said...

Jackie said to tell you she used to live in Amarillo, and she has been to that place! She remembers going to a concert by The Highwaymen there. You should download the song Amarillo By Morning by George Strait to listen to. That is just how we love to do a road trip - checking out spots that advertise throwed rolls, broken cookies, frog purses and nut bowls. Keep your eyes open for any of those spots. You probably don't have much time, but Old Town in Albuquerque is so cool!

Accepts Affection said...

Whoa! I am jealous. And not just because of the yellow Cooper Mini (mini, I want you. BAD.) My husband and I traveled through the west, and it's not just the mountains and the dry heat. It's the being together in the ol' west, drinking margaritas and taking it all in.

Desert flowers rule.

Have fun. Road trips are seriously the best. Especially to the land o' California.

Donovan Keith said...

I've been to the Big Texan, it's a wonderful establishment. If you can eat their 84oz steak w/ all the sides, you get to eat for free. All of about 20 people have ever completed that herculean task and their names are emblazoned on the side of the building.

If you get a chance, stay in the WigWam motel, it's either in Arizona or New Mexico, it's great! Big concrete ti pis w/ crappy mattresses. Staying there was one of the highlights of my childhood.


LAP said...

Yay! Picturing you two tooling in a mini Cooper makes it cinematic. To be in the same room with such a big steak would be a great honor.

Chelsea said...

It's my hometown, been there a multitude of times, seen numerous attempts at the 72 ounce steak and even a couple successes. Check out Roasters Coffee if you have time, quaint little hometown place.

kelly said...

my co-worker from amarillo is super impressed with your hotel pick. she also says the cheeseburger at the Golden Light cafe is not to be missed. and her dad is probably at the counter eating one right now...

kelly said...

and dont forget the El Rancho Hotel if you stay in Gallup NM. it was home to the stars who either travelled route 66, or ones who lived there while they filmed old westerns in the area. viva 66!

ARK said...

Love the "dawg" bit, just because it's a spelling that's funny to mine eyes.

Good to hear you're well-fed.

The steaks will give you the fortitude for any challenges down the road. Maybe you shoulda run in a primary...?

Francis said...

That was way cool. Keep it up