Monday, October 22, 2007

A Certain Minneapolis Writer Who Shall Remain Nameless interviewed my wife this weekend for an Unnamed Local Publication and asked her what I think is possibly the most offensive question anybody's ever asked her -- a kind of personal slap in the face to yours truly, who ALREADY suffers from occasional bouts of low self-esteem.

The question, phrased exactly thus: "Now that you're big in Hollywood, is it bye-bye Jonny?"

Our Miss Cody's response: "That's possibly the stupidest question I've ever been asked. Bye-bye Jonny, are you kidding? Absolutely not. Everything we do, we do together. We're partners."

His follow-up: "Well, people around here are wondering."

REALLY? People in Minneapolis are WONDERING? You'll forgive me if I don't understand -- what is it about Minnesota where people there assume that they're morally superior to the rest of the country, and everybody else -- especially in, sneer, California -- are a bunch of amoral, spouse-ditching douchebags? Is the divorce rate lower in Minneapolis than anywhere else? I don't think so. There's as much adultery and cheating and fucking crazy-ass lame-ass drama in Minneapolis as anywhere else.

Maybe his point was to insult me, to basically say "The guy's not good enough for you, when are you gonna find someone better?" Listen. I may not have ripped abs or be tall or attractive or even particularly thrilling (let alone "sexy"), but I'm not exactly a useless lump, dig? For one thing, I might not be in the movies but I'm a pretty kickass music writer and graphic designer (I do movie one-sheets, that's a cooler job than most people have!) and musician, and that means I'm kinda creatively up to dating someone excelling in a creative field. And for another, I'm a kind, supportive, friendly guy that gets pretty big ups out here for being kind of generally a guileless, kind, decent human being. In some circles, believe it or not, I'm even seen as kind of a catch. I know -- quelle shock.

Or maybe the question just belies a total ignorance of how it works out here in Hollywood. Maybe he views people out here as shallow automatons from lack of real-world experience and the distortion of seeing life via tabloids and magazines. Maybe rather than seeing them as humans with lives and souls and real-life cares and concerns, he ascribes to them motives which are atypical of human beings in general; i.e. that they're completely, 100% motivated by greed and are incapable of love and affection. In which case I can tell you -- apart from a few asshole actors who continually make the press and ruin it for the non-dramatic, non-dickhead majority out here, the people we've met out here are kind, affectionate, normal folks. Some of them are even in standard-fare, Minnesota-style long-term marriages. I know! Shocking!

In any event, IN CASE PEOPLE IN MINNEAPOLIS WERE WONDERING, we're doing just fine. Out here in Hollywood, despite what you have have heard, people don't always ditch each other randomly when they get successful, okay?

(And to Another Minneapolis Writer Who Shall Remain Nameless -- calling out Diablo's "impressively chunky thighs" belies some fairly blatant sexism. And before you crow that because she was a stripper that her "body is now part of the dialog," ask yourself how many times you mentioned Peter Jackson's weight in your articles about Lord of the Rings, even though his weight loss, being a matter of public record AND his occasional commentary, is also therefore "part of the dialog," and even though he -- as opposed to Diablo's completely normal, average-range physique -- has actually had weight problems? Yeah -- exactly. I call bullshit.

MEH. Seriously, Minnesota is the sour-grapesiest, resent-their-favorite-children-i-est state in the god-damn universe.)

34 comments:

Hua Gung said...

Rant on my man. As a lifelong Minnea-whatever I feel your freakin' pain. I have a drop dead gorgeous Thai wife, and me? Let's just say I am full-figured and bald. Other local-apolitans have actually suggested to her that she should have held out for better. It's an ugly crazy scene here at times. Passive/aggressive nut jobs who think they know your story better than you.

Donovan Keith said...

Jeez! That guy was an ass.

Jonny, amend the record: you *are* sexy. You sir, are a catch indeed. You and Diablo make a terrific couple. You're very well matched. You both are extremely sharp, funny, fashionable, and talented. Here's to you having many happy years together!
Cheers,

Donovan

Prince Gomolvilas said...

I, for one, have been in close proximity to Jonny, and I must say that he IS attractive and sexy, and I have long fantasized about him sticking any part of his anatomy into any hole on my body.

Oh, yeah, and he's smart and funny, but I'm shallow and don't care about that stuff.

Febrifuge said...

People who know you were NOT wondering. I mean, duh. It's obvious you two are from the same, very-limited-edition playset.

Sharyn Morrow said...

Well, screw 'em. I love you guys!

Coco said...

Dear lord. It's like, once people become any sort of famous, we think it's okay to dehumanize them. Who would go up to their neighour and ask "So, Josie, now that you got that promotion is it bye-bye Bob?" or mention that she's packed on a little junk in the trunk? Seriously, show some manners and only talk about people behind their backs.

:-) said...

What an asshole.

Jonny, anyone who knows you guys are NOT wondering those things at all. What a bunch of bullshit. What the hell kind of question is that anyway?

That person needs to get a life.

watchwhathappens said...

sounds like mr. tactless reporter has been watching too much "dr. 90210". you sound like a fabulous guy.

that said, i dare say that if the situation were turned around, and diablo were a guy who became successful in hollywood, diablo-the-guy probably *would* ditch his minneapolis wife for a botox'd kardashian or two...but women tend to see beyond the surface.

Marne said...

I would never think that Jonny, there are some of us in this state that are awesome, don't lump us all together. We love ya and miss ya and know your love is the real deal. That writer is just plain lame.

Hank and Phyllis said...

Amen to your judgment about sour grapes in Minneapolis, brother. And it's been particularly rough in Diablo's case--which, I suspect, is a testament not only to garden-variety envy but to the perverse prudishness of the place. "Former stripper" is as much as they need to hear to get their dumb-ass cynicism on.

Lorie said...

The reporter must not be much of a writer if he has to resort to lame-ass, provocative questions like that to grab a quote for his story. But, think of it this way, b/c of his boorishness, we got to read a FINE RANT from you -- well put, sir. :)

BTW I've lurked for a little while since I found your blog off your wife's... And, we (husband, new baby, two cats and me) just moved from LA (near Paramount) to the Twins. You probably already have discovered nearby Larchmont, but if you're hankering for a bagel, check out Sam's Bagels on Larchmont Avenue -- they make a big lox/bagel platter. Then, please go sit outside of Peet's Coffee and Tea with a small iced mocha! And, finally, stroll through the Farmer's Market on Sundays...

j. said...

Wow. I'm just stunned that someone would ask that question in all seriousness. That's hateful. I guess some people really do hate it when their friends become successful. :/

~Sister

http://myfriendandy.blogspot.com/

sazired said...

As a journalist, I'm ashamed that the asshat who asked you that question actually gets a by-line.

Seriously, wtf?

As Diablo made clear in her book, you two have one of the most mutually supportive and unconditional relationships ever. No amount of fame or success changes that.

That question was not a judgment on how much of a catch you are...rather it was a reflection of the levels of desperation a shitty writer has to stoop to in order to scrounge for tabloid-esque headlines.

p.s. thighs? seriously? Fuck that noise. We'd all be blessed if we were as hot as your girl there. 'Nuff said.

tim said...

Fuck 'em!

We're rooting for you guys, Jon. Both personally and professionally!! Molly said you're going to be working on...something new. Looking forward to that!

Hope all's well, aside from the ugly spectre of tabloid voyeurism!

Put on a little Lowell George or Gram Parsons, you smashing, quirky hip-thang. (that's as close as I'll get to calling you sexy ;^)

Molly P said...

What a toooool. Don't let it get to you. Who WOULDN'T be totally proud and happy to be with a smart, funny, kind dude who looks like Dave Grohl?

I hate people. I do. But much love and congratulations to you!

Jon Busey-Hunt said...

Aw, thanks guys. Molly P, I hate people too! I'm right there with ya! But I don't hate the readers of Hatesexy. Only you survive my misanthropy.

Febrifuge said...

I nominate that for official Hatesexy T-shirt design: "Only You Survive My Misanthropy."

Or maybe your Xmas card.

Yrs,

E.

Febrifuge said...

Oh. I found the article. Goody.

What a condescending asshat. But then, I've been seeing him write like that for years. Don't take it too personally. I do notice he spends a lot of words defending how he's writing this very article.

And I bet money the author will protest, too, sputtering "but it's a GOOD review!"

Febrifuge said...

(Actually, I found the article by the SECOND nameless-Mpls-writer.)

Jon Busey-Hunt said...

It would be a good article, if he a) talked to anybody involved rather than just talking ABOUT them, or b) committed to either a GOOD review or a BAD review rather than a series of backhanded comments, and c) wrote about the movie or Diablo rather than himself s'damn much. As it is, it is neither a review nor a profile nor a piece of cultural criticism -- it is rubbish. If I was his editor I would have demanded a rewrite even if I didn't know the subject. No lie.

Mimi NY said...

That's not very nice. But people dig for dirt when their own lives are shit, because they desperately need to feel some kind of justification, you know? No one wants to believe people can have it all, we're all frenetically seeking a career and using that as an excuse for our single empty lives, or alternately saying our marriage is the reason we don't have a career. To be able to have both is the ultimate crime for the green eyed of us out there. It seems like you guys have the kind of relationship a lot of people can only dream of, and certainly both your careers are more than solid, and that provokes jealousy and vicious comments. I started dating a director over here recently and everyone came out with that shit at me. 'She's only with you because she wants something from you'. Huh, I just thought he was damned funny and cool, (but not that cool, as he stood me up Thursday night, but you get the gist). I still remember your lovely email when I dissed Diablo on my blog on the basis of her blurb without having read the book (which I have done since and loved), and it totally melted my heart. I was like 'wow! nice guys do exist!' I would be blown away to date someone who sticks up for their partner and is with them as you are for her, so tell them all to suck their own shit covered dicks. Although they probably are already, so there you go.

Jon Busey-Hunt said...

Mimi, that's incredibly, incredibly sweet, THANK YOU.

stevemarsh said...

Dude, it was just one tasteless joke question among many. I'm not Voldemort. Didn't mean to spur any self-examination. I'm happy all these Hollywood queers are making you feel better about it though.

Patrick said...

Jon, you have to face the fact that your wife is hot, and that your perception of her as a sexual icon isn't singular.

I think a public display like this blog only gives away your insecurity, which is probably mutated effect of your wife's success in the entertainment industry.

If you weren't worried, you wouldn't have to emote at all.

Maybe its time to seek penis enlargement?

Mimi NY said...

Boys, boys, you spend far too much time thinking about Jon's cock. Combined with the gratuitous queer comment - well, what is one meant to think? Don't they hang you guys in red states for that kind of stuff?

stevemarsh said...

You know, Mimi, you're right. We're so far below this blue state level of humor:

Mimi NY said...
I would be blown away to date someone who sticks up for their partner and is with them as you are for her, so tell them all to suck their own shit covered dicks.
October 28, 2007 8:30 AM

Jon Busey-Hunt said...

Mimi, that's incredibly, incredibly sweet, THANK YOU.
October 29, 2007 9:15 AM

Mimi NY said...

That ain't humor sweetie. That's from the heart.

xx

stevemarsh said...

Well, mine was humor. I swear. Here, I'll make it p.c. and boring and overexplained so all you coastals can get it and so I don't come off like Tom Barnard to the people here at home. My "queer" comment was meant to make fun of Jonny's stereotype of Minnesotans as a bunch of bigoted midwestern haters that believe everyone in Hollywood is gay and cheat on their husbands. Like Sarah Silverman, you know. Aw, shit, I mean like something Sarah Silverman would say. I don't mean to accuse Sarah Silverman of being gay and/or cheating on her husband. Not that I would judge her if she was. Damminit, this one is getting away from me too. I'm just going to stop before I offend the Jews and the lesbians off too. Wait. I don't mean...ah... and this is really complicated because I believe midwestern people are closeminded haters too. Most of my friends and relatives, actually. This is going really badly.

Anyway, Jonny, I have nothing but love for you. I'm sorry for using shock Q&A humor. Intellectually lazy for sure. It's probably my fat corn-fed parents' fault. Thanks for bringing me into this miserable life, assholes!

Mimi NY said...

I think you should just go right ahead and offend the jews and the lesbians. Go on. I'm at home writing with a hangover. I could do with the entertainment.

stevemarsh said...

Just keep the cats away from the Manischewitz, and I don't care what you heathens do within the privacy of your disorganized apartments.

Mailer called writing drunk "recording a mood" by the way, Meems. Be careful.

Andrew said...

jonny, today would be a good day to take a break from the internets and go fishing or something. come back on Monday and let 'er simmer down. :)

Mimi NY said...

No, not drunk, Definitely not. High on Diet Coke, and recovering from a terrible halloween party full of actors. I hate actors. Perhaps that is dictating my mood even more than listening to 'Intuition' on repeat for a half hour.

Chuck Olsen said...

At first I thought you meant Rob Nelson asked if it was "Bye-bye Jonny" - which REALLY threw me for a loop.

But Marsh? Well, now it makes some kind of sense. Yeah, seriously don't take it to heart.

Still scratching my head about the chunky thigh. I did think the comparison to her old film blurb, and how she created that future for herself, was interesting-if-really-cynical.

XOXO
longtime fan

NFL said...

Has anyone issued an apology to Steve Marsh, now that it turns out he's right?