Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Remember Friendster? Remember when ALL YOUR FRIENDS were on Friendster and it was all cool and everybody was doing it and you felt left behind so you RELUCTANTLY made yourself a Friendster page, finally, and started friending your friends, and suddenly...
...FRIENDSTER? Man, you are behind the TIMES, buddy! It's all about MySpace! Get with 2005, here, and sign up for MySpace! It's so much cooler than Friendster, because -- well, it is! It just is! Plus, it has bands, and those bands are becoming BIG HUGE STARS so sign up for MySpace NOW, we're all doing it!
So you signed up for MySpace, and juuuuuust when you'd gotten around to updating your site once in a while...
...MYSPACE? Dude, you're still on MySpace? We're all about the Facebook now! All your friends are on Facebook! No, not just all your super cool friends, I'm talking about all your high school friends and your elementary school friends too! We're all here and you're not! Sign up! And while you're here, take this incredibly stupid quiz about what kind of bread you are! I'm Rye!
Can you tell I'm all fed up with networking sites? Can you?
Dude, seriously, slow the fuck down. There is nothing on Facebook that wasn't on MySpace, and in fact, apart from the fact that they very smartly list your friends alphabetically, it offers nothing that MySpace doesn't except a lot lot lot LOT of ways to waste your time in very stupid ways. Plus, I liked MySpace. I have a band profile on MySpace. I met my birthmom through MySpace. MySpace was cool.
I'll make an agreement with you, Everybody I Know. I'm willing to stick with this Facebook thing if you promise me you won't jump ship when the NEXT big networking site jumps out at you with a bunch of shiny things to distract you from the job you hate. Okay? I'll sign up for your quizzes and I'll look at your photographs and whatever else you want me to do, just stick with it this time, okay?