Tuesday, September 2, 2008
I Want A Cleee-e-e-e-ean Shaven Man!
So this weekend I shaved my beard off.
Oh -- I kept some gigantic Neil Young-ish mutton chops, but the bulk of my beard? GONE. Within two seconds of the hair hitting the sink I regretted my decision WHOLEHEARTEDLY. Why? Because without a beard, I have a goofy looking face. The beard gave me the illusion of youth. Now? My jowls are out there for all to see. I look like Paul McCartney if you maybe punched the guy hard in the kisser, broke his nose, and took about 50% of the hotness away from him. Or -- Paul McCartney, NOW.
Oh, and according to people on the internet? I gots a double chin. And it's true. I do. I went through a phase where I lost about 30 pounds and I *still* had a double chin.
WITH the beard I look like a bohemian hobo, sort of late-period Beatles meets 70s Bob Dylan. WITHOUT the beard I look like a jowly Mike Nesmith.
Sigh. HOW long does it take to grow a beard back?